My message of hope from Hector’s House as Hector’s sister. Hector took his own life in 2011. We set up Hector’s House initially as a signposting website and it has evolved organically. We now provide a crisis line, educational talks on living well-focused holistic prevention, Rapid Transformational Therapy, as well as raising awareness by sharing our story. We believe that suicide is preventable.
Why do we do what we do? As Hec’s sister I don’t want any other family to go through what we have been through. We want to help by providing services at all points of a mental health journey. We believe we can help keep that person safe, alive and living the best life they possibly can.
After suffering with the loss and trauma, and living with the aftermath of suicide, I absolutely believe that my lifestyle must reflect on what we’ve learnt. I advocate movement, eating well, getting sunlight, sleeping well, watering yourself (like a well kept house plant) keeping your gut healthy, talking therapy, and most importantly, being honest about how you are feeling to yourself. It may sound ‘woo woo’ and a little holistic for some but truly practising what I advocate has helped me to overcome PTSD. My desire to want to live well, to recover, to believe without question that this is available to me was my turning point. I had to know and believe I was strong enough to live better, without PTSD. I manage my mind daily – giving it a work out through meditation, much like I exercise my body at the gym. It becomes a way of life, a lifestyle of hope, giving me the energy, understanding and intuition to help others. This wouldn’t be the method used at crisis point, but for me to live well, and preventing me from getting to crisis point this method is very successful.
My advice if you are or have been through something traumatic?
Treat yourself as though you have been! Be very gentle with yourself, your feelings, your mind and body. A mental trauma is still as stressful as a physical one, in whatever form it is in your life. Baby steps lead to strides, small steps to recover. You will get back to feeling more like you again, a stronger, more honest you.
My advice to someone struggling?
Keep going, no matter how hard it feels. It will feel better. Everything takes time, give how you are feeling time to work through. Hold on to anything that gives you hope. Please please please reach out to family, friends, us, anyone. We all want to help, take that first step. We hear you, you matter, you are important.
What advice would I give my younger self/anyone?
Know with absolute conviction that you are loved, you are wanted, you have power. You are enough.
Learn to meditate, quieten that inner self-critic.
Learn to express feelings “the feeling that cannot find expression in tears will cause other organs to weep” – Marissa Peer, so true!
High-five yourself! Be proud of you, turn the inner critic into your very own cheerleader!
Don’t use Dr Google!
Call Hector’s House on 07397 155562